Joel Schumacher’s live-action Batman movie, Batman & Robin is known for its one-liners, especially those that come from the villains. Chief among the Caped Crusader’s nemeses is Mr. Freeze, who is played by king of quips, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Throughout Batman & Robin, Arnie aka Mr. Freeze serves up an array of ice-puns, chilling catchphrases, and quirky quotes. But what if Batman & Robin ONLY contained dialogue from Mr. Freeze?

In this post I am taking a look at all of Mr. Freeze’s lines. No quote or piece of dialogue gets overlooked, as I present the two-hour movie condensed down to just the Freeze lines – and NOTHING else.

This is what Batman & Robin would be like with only lines of dialogue from Mr. Freeze.

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Batman & Robin with just Mr: Freeze dialogue

Image: ©Warner Bros. Pictures/DC Entertainment

“The Ice Man cometh.”

“Mercy? I’m afraid that my condition has left me cold to your pleas of mercy.”

“Aw. In this universe, there is only one absolute – everything freezes.”

“Uh. Uh. Yuh.”

“You are not sending me to the cooler.”

“Uh.”

“Grab the gem – kill the heroes.”

“Yes, kill them. Kill them. Yes. Destroy everything!”

“Ah. Ah, thanks.”

“What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!”

“Hit me, boys.”

“Ah, thanks for playing.”

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“Ah, I was hoping you’d drop in.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Watch the numbers, Batman. For they are the harbingers of your doom.”

“Can you feel it coming? The icy cold of space. Ah, at 30,000 feet your heart will freeze – and beat no more.”

“After you have frozen, your icy tomb will plummet back to Gotham. Ha!”

“Freeze well.”

“Stay cool, bird boy.”

“Can you be cold, Batman? You have eleven minutes to thaw the bird. What will you do – chase the villain or save the boy? Ha ha! Your emotions make you weak, that’s why this day is mine. Ha ha ha! I’ll kill you next time.”

“Arrgghh!”

“Ughhh!”

“Sing, sing. Come on, sing. Louder, come on – sing, sing, sing! Come on! Yes, come on. Louder. Ugh!”

“I find that unlikely.”

“My passion thaws for my bride alone.”

“Frosty!”

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“Ah, energy. Battling the Bat exhausted my power. Ah, but I was successful nevertheless.”

“One more giant diamond of this size and my freezing engine will be complete. Ha! I will freeze the city, then I will hold Gotham ransom. Unless this city bows to my demands, it’s winter forever here in Gotham. The city fathers will have no choice but to give me the billions I need to complete my research! So, I can find a cure.”

“Leave us. We need quality time.”

“Soon we will be together once more. Soon.”

“I hate when people talk during the movie.”

“One more diamond, my love. One more.”

Image: ©Warner Bros. Pictures/DC Entertainment

“Bruce Wayne diamonds. Very nice.”

“Alright everyone, chill. Chill. Chill.”

“Argh. Get the gun.”

“Boo!”

“Well look at you. Let me guess. Plant Girl? Vine Lady? Huh? Hand over the diamond, Garden Gal, or I’ll turn you into mulch.”

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“Pheromone dust. Designed to heat a man’s blood. It doesn’t work on the cold hearted. Now if you please.”

“Clever little clover. Ha! That’s my exit cue. Thanks.”

“Cool party. Ha ha ha ha.”

“It’s a cold town. Ha ha ha ha ha.”

“Ha ha ha ha ha. Uh… uh oh.”

“Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well, for it’s the chilling sound of your doom.”

“Uh… uh… uh… uh… argh… uh… uh… uh… huh… er…”

“Sadly, you will not live to see it.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Sister?”

“Impressive.”

“Hmm…”

“An enticing offer, but what does the lady want in return?”

“A laundry service that delivers. Wow!”

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“No, always go a size smaller – makes me look slimmer.”

“Ugh, I’m running on empty. I need the diamonds from my hideout.”

“Always winterise your pipes.”

“While I get my diamonds, you and Meatloaf retrieve my wife.”

Image: ©Warner Bros. Pictures/DC Entertainment

“Come on. I hope Mr. Bane can swim.”

“Ugh… there she is.”

“No, in my weakened condition, I’m no match for the Bat and bird.”

“I hate uninvited guests.”

“Ah, chilled to perfection. Ah, yes.”

“Yes, yes.”

“Where’s my wife?”

“You lie!”

“Oh, no.”

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“Their bones will turn to ICE! Their blood will freeze in my hands.”

“Yes, if I must suffer, humanity will suffer with me. I shall repay them for sentencing me to a life without the warmth of human comfort. I will blanket the city in an endless winter. First Gotham, and then the world!”

“Yes, Adam – and Evil.”

“You distract the Bat and bird, while I prepare to freeze Gotham!”

“First I will turn Gotham into an icy graveyard. Then I will pull Batman’s heart from his body, and feel it freeze in my hands. Ah… ha ha ha! Revenge!”

“Ah… the combined power of the telescope’s reflective crystals will complete my freezing engine. Yes. No matter what they tell you, Mr. Bane, it is the size of your gun that counts.”

“Hi. Oh, I’m sorry about the door. Is the party over?”

“Ha ha ha ha ha.”

“If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday finest. It’s time to feast!”

“Tonight, Hell freezes over! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”

“Let’s kick some ice. Yes! Ha ha. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

“Huh. Ha ha ha.”

“I’ll finish off the city; you kill the kids. But, leave me the Bat!”

“Tonight’s forecast: A freeze is coming.”

Image: ©Warner Bros. Pictures/DC Entertainment

“B-bye!”

“Oh, ha ha ha, yes.”

“Ha, yes, ah.”

“Uh.”

“Uh, nuh… ha ha ha. Uh. Arrgghh. Da.. ugh.. ugh.”

“Ya… ugh.. ugh… ugh…”

“Ugh… argh.. argh…”

“I think not. Ha. Bombs away, Batman. Ha ha!”

“Huh… argh.”

“Uh… ugh… Freeze in Hell, Batman!”

“Go on, kill me too, just as you killed my wife.”

“Aarrgghhh… uh.. uh.”

“Uh.. she lives? She lives?”

“She’s alive?”

“Take two of these, and call me in the morning.”

“Not! Surprise, I’m your new cellmate – and I’ve come to make your life a living hell. Prepare for a bitter harvest. Winter has come at last.”

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Bit of a different experience, isn’t it? Trimmed down to just the Mr. Freeze lines, were you still able to follow the flow of the movie?

More importantly, what is your favourite piece of Mr. Freeze dialogue? Sound off in the comments section below.

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